Raptures and What Not

So, if you're reading this, it's safe to say you didn't make it into heaven for the first go 'round.

The jokes have been endless...really. I mean really, it's been the end of days since the beginning of days and predictions are being made every time someone gets creatively obsessed. I'm over it, BUT I will continue with residual laughter.

Besides waking up on Saturday morning, the weekends are becoming more work and play. My weekend bootcamps aren't moving forward as I hoped they would by now, but until there's reason to stop, I'll keep showing up.

I am determined to get into somebody's gallery and I also have to keep my motivation at a 10. I finished drawing up the next painting, which took much concentration and several breaks. I'll lay down the paint today.

I had several interesting conversations this weekend, and within each of them I think I found out a little bit more about me. If I could create an umbrella to encompass these conversations, it would simply be about love, compassion and control.

I am a lover. I love hard, unconditionally and sometimes to extents that leave me wanting more of it. Pretty safe to say, as we get to know people, we share and we withhold. I've found that I am more likely to share, in hopes that something genuine and solid can form a foundation for future disclosure. However, when rejection answers my call, I'm left with less of me and a more calculated way of being. Calculating the emotions and desires that are/should be organic, leaves a very insecure state of being.

Just follow me...I'm putting some cards on the table.

So, this is the thing...

I want to encourage people to love like it's brand new every time. In loving folks just for being present in your life, you can heal some broken places and you may even be withholding the key they've needed to unlock the hiding place no one ever found them in. It seems to me, when you really pay attention, as well as listen to people, you bridge a gap. Just because we don't have the same situations, doesn't mean we can't have the same range of emotion. My point being, sometimes we just need to walk it out with people; meet them where they are. If you have joys or pains, use that memory and familiarity to connect. Make the connection and inspire. You never know, you might be the one in need.

It's Happening

Yesterday I finished the semi-mural for my hiking buddy's kid's bathroom. I had a ball painting. I spent all day Tuesday working on it and about an hour yesterday. I love it! I love being able to do what I love for a portion of my living. It's like, if I were a little kid, I'd be getting paid for recess! I'm gaining confidence in myself and my gifts, and I can't help but feel like I'm moving forward; being prepared for an awesome future. Bally isn't my ideal place to be, but I do love what I get to do while I'm there. I'm in a place where I absolutely love everything I'm doing, and that's everything.

I'm still waiting to hear back about the job, but I don't feel as anxious and my spirit has finally calmed down as far as the, "what then, if it doesn't happen?" I recognize that whatever happens, will still be good for me. We can choose our paths, and sometimes, when there's some sub-path that we didn't see coming, we freak out. I'm not freaking out. I've named my life's motto, Just Show Up, and that is what I intend to do. It seems that when I just simply show up, I am able to receive whatever is meant for me, and sometimes even more than I could've imagined.

Stay Motivated.

It Just Feels Good

I can't say that I'm overly certain on anything, but I can say that everything that's been happening just feels good. I had an amazing workout this morning with one of my clients that's almost 60, and she does EVERYTHING I ask of her (nothing lightweight)! That makes a trainer's day. I came straight home after our session, and I began working on more of my portfolio for the art-based job that I want.

So, as I'm photoshopping out the nonsense and posting and captioning, I get a call about the health column that I do for Fallschurch.patch.com. There is a council woman over there in VA that appreciates the column and was happy to see something geared towards women. I got so excited! I guess, as Dre (the editor/my BF-inlaw) tells it, there's a lot of feedback on my little column. Seems that it's worthy of more than I thought, too.

I'm just happy. I'm working hard/ being responsible, and my gifts are really working for me. I'm still waiting on feedback for the job with Urban Outfitters (Northwest District Display Coordinator), so just keep me in your prayers.

Thanks in Advance

I AM AMAZING... i think.

This has been an extremely productive/ push through kinda weekend. I am turning a corner right now into my art and looking for jobs to support that. I'm getting blogs together, trying to get my portfolio together and working on my ever-changing resume.

I've found that it is the things I am most comfortable with, that I am also most insecure about. You know how when you're learning how to do something, there's no real fear, because it is understood that you're learning? Well, my fear comes from the fact that I am pretty well versed in my capabilities, but in putting myself out there, I am saying, "Yes, I am ready to be judged."

Right now, the job I am truly hoping for, is a job with Urban Outfitters to create displays in the store. I'm talking about building, creating, pushing limits and power tools. It had to have been made for me! Well, I want it. I'm nervous about it, but I want it! If you know me (or not) and you love me (or not), say a little prayer for me in hopes that I get it.